Reflections on My Studies with Mary Iino Burmeister*
By
Stephanie Mines, Ph.D.
Copyright 2/11
“The skin is no more separated from the brain than the surface of a lake is separate from its depths; the two are different locations in a continuous medium. The brain is a single functional unit, from cortex to fingertips to toes. To touch the surface is to stir the depths.”
~ Dean Juhan
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| Mary Iino Burmeister |
The Unburdening Process is a way to not accumulate behaviors, movements, thoughts and feelings that no longer serve you. My teacher Mary Iino Burmeister spoke frequently of the damages of “accumulations.” She warned us to let go of anything that burdened us. She emphasized the importance of “unburdening” without using that particular word, but she said it is required for true health. She said that all Jin Shin practice is “unburdening” or relieving accumulation. I add the consciousness and frequently the articulation of what is being unburdened.
What does it mean to “unburden” yourself? From the standpoint of structure, it means to take the load or stress off of the muscles, joints, bones, tendons, or ligaments that carry the burdens of unconscious and repetitive movement. The same is true of thoughts and feelings. They burden our neurological structures in precisely the same way, Repetitive destructive movement patterns like jutting the chin out or collapsing in the spine burden our overall physical structure. Unconscious, non-beneficial mental-emotional habits similarly create brain inflammation and rigidity. Then we wonder where our resiliency has gone and attribute that to aging or something outside of ourselves. Just as we want to re-educate our bodies to move and function in supportive and aligned ways so do we want re-educate our brains to not repeat misaligned patterns of thought, feeling and behavior.
Unburdening requires a personal parting of your Red Sea of engulfing habituated patterns and walking through on the pathway of clarity to the other side. This is what I see happening over and over in TARA Approach training programs and individual sessions. It is exhilarating to watch someone realize that talking about their partner is not the way to transform their own life! It is a joyous ah-ha when someone recognizes that they are asking questions that they already know the answers to! By naming the patterns that keep us disempowered we immediately step into empowerment, and our physical structures automatically realign with our mental ones!
These are the basic steps in the Unburdening Process:
1. Identify and Name the Burdens: This is the crucial step of awareness. For those who have studied Jin Shin TARA the pulses are remarkable allies in helping you identify the burdens, especially when you use the language of the Elements. Any sequencing process will lead you to the naming of the burdens;
2. Take Responsibility for Unburdening/Find New Options: Reflecting on the burdens leads to a stunning recognition of all the options available to replace outmoded behavior. You can try on new ways of speaking, different styles of walking and lifting, explore new exercise systems, journal or paint, reorganize the way you sit at your computer, replace destructive relational behaviors with ones that really work for you;
3. Establish New Vital, Conscious and Consistent Behaviors: When you start to use your new options you cannot just let them sink into the same realm of unconsciousness as your old habits. You have to remain in an active relationship with your new behaviors, and with everything that you say and do. This is a lifetime commitment!
Walking this path demands will and attention. It is a mindfulness practice; a living meditation. You need sturdy, time tested tools to excavate entrenched and many rooted weeds of the mind from the dry, infertile soil of repetition. This is not a process for the lazy or feint of heart.
To unburden yourself you have to get into the grungy corners of your mind where the detritus of intergenerational lies and false beliefs gather dust. Mary Iino Burmeister called this the “DD’s and GG”S” or “Dirt, Dust and Greasy Grime.” Most people postpone this housecleaning (Mary used this metaphor often) or never undertake it and therefore they do not evolve. When you commit to the continuity of this clean-up you are guaranteed vitality. You will have a palpable experience of increased spaciousness in your mind and body, just as if you had cleaned your house of hoarded junk.
This is a weight loss plan. Unburdening means that we take off the weights we have been wearing that do not tone our muscles. Mary said that “weight is stress.” We are wearing the weight of the past within our flesh, carrying it and dressing it as if it were a precious treasure. The truth is that these old habitual thought patterns are useless knick-knacks that clutter the truth that is behind them. The person who asks questions that they already know the answer to is trying to wear the clothes of a child. When they put on the new outfit of resilient, creative maturity they suddenly see that they look absolutely fabulous as an adult!
The TARA Approach combines the tools of energy medicine (Jin Shin TARA) and stimulating dialogue (whether self-talk, journaling or dialogue with another) to unburden mind, body and spirit. Those who study and practice the TARA Approach often have immediate access to the energy and applied touch practices. The bigger stumbling block, surprisingly, is frequently dialogue.
Differentiation Is A Tool for Unburdening
One of the most effective tools in the unburdening process is the concept and application of differentiation. If you grasp the beauty of differentiation you immediately discover dialogue clues to get you to that destination. Differentiation IS unburdening. What is differentiation? It is the thorough recognition that you can only change yourself and that others are separate and unique. They are not you. They are themselves. It may sound simple but lack of differentiation has burdened almost everyone. Once you embody your differentiation the burdens fall from your shoulders like the statues of dead dictators.
Differentiation is a mature adaptation of individuation. It applies to all relationships. When you realize that you are differentiated from others, even with your loving connection to them, you liberate yourself from any responsibility for their choices or behaviors. You continue to witness and participate in their lives compassionately. You stand on your own even when you stand with others. Seeing and feeling, in the core of your being, that you are distinctly yourself and differentiated from others does not exclude you from the experience of oneness. On the contrary, it accentuates it. You recognize that conscious oneness is really only possible when there is differentiation.
In Jin Shin TARA there are actual treatments to heighten the innate energy systems that convey differentiation. When you charge this bio-electric circuitry you experience the exhilaration of independence, self-sufficiency and sustainability. This is when you become undaunted in your evolution. It is amazing how unburdening and differentiation infuse you with a capacity for tireless, well-boundaried service and love of others. Unburdening and differentiation literally lift a weighty load from your human structure. You are simultaneously lighter and more rooted. This is the joy of conscious relationship with others, with the world, with your partner, your family, and your children. It is the path of love and the path of liberation.
Mirroring and Parenting
Unburdening and differentiation are adult experiences. Parents must unburden themselves and differentiate from their children to truly serve them. This is true universally but it is especially true when parenting a special needs child. My next blog will talk about MIRRORING from an unburdened and differentiated perspective. Mirroring is an art we can cultivate to serve our children and it is particularly effective to support children with sensory needs, like autism, to help them find relational possibilities from within their own nervous systems. While it may appear that mirroring is the polar opposite of differentiation in fact it is only effective when the adult doing the mirroring unburdens and differentiates themselves.
“May each one of you discover the teacher within.” ~ Mary Iino Burmeister’s last words.
Featured TARA Practitioner
AnaElizabeth Pagola
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| AnaElizabeth Pagola |
AnaElizabeth Pagola, PT, holds the banner of the TARA Approach in Mexico. She tirelessly does everything in her power, with faith and devotion, to convey the TARA Approach to her patients and to the many communities where she lives and serves. Elizabeth has attended, sponsored, co-taught or organized TARA Approach programs in Chiapas, Morelia, Mexico City and San Luis Potosi. She is now living in Puebla, Mexico where her children are completing their education and she is already a representative of the TARA Approach there.
AnaElizabeth Pagola skillfully integrates the TARA Approach into her physical therapy practice. For the past year she has been involved in a private mentorship with Dr. Stephanie Mines, founder of the TARA Approach, to gain her Self Care Teacher Certification. She is already certified at the Foundations and Advanced levels of the TARA Approach. We applaud her exquisite and compassionate embodiment of the TARA Approach in all regards and look forward to when she can teach all the levels of the TARA Approach in Mexico.
Mil gracias, Elizabeth, for your contribution to sustainable, empowering healthcare in Mexico.
If you have comments or questions about this blog please feel free to send them to me at tara-approach@prodigy.net. It is my joy to provide these free downloads to enhance your quality of life and uplift you on your path of love. If you would like to learn how to unburden and differentiate, as well as how to provide mirroring as a parenting tool, go to www.TARA-Approach.org to learn about our programs, books, handbooks, CD’s and DVD’s.
*This blog is a product of the current iteration of the transcription process I have been engaged in beginning in November 2010 to decode my notes from over twenty years of study with Mary Iino Burmeister. Many of Mary’s statements were cryptic phrases that, strangely, she was never asked to explain. Since Mary’s accident in 1990 that sacrificed her memory and then since her death on January 27, 2008, I have come to see my voluminous notes as one of my life’s greatest treasures. I not only transcribe the notes. I also correlate the information with my studies of the nervous system, thereby finding the healing brilliance in Mary’s words.
